


Out of Silence

by Annie46fic



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, cop!Jensen, deaf!Jared
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-05
Updated: 2013-08-05
Packaged: 2017-12-22 13:22:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 15,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/913687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Annie46fic/pseuds/Annie46fic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When hardened, but lonely cop, Jensen Ackles meets Jared Padalecki in his family’s diner, he doesn’t realize that his life is about to change drastically. Jared is a complete innocent, deaf, mute and unable to communicate, he needs a friend. Can Jensen be that man?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on my LJ and other LJ comms in 2008

**1982**

The Singers were the most influential family in San Antonio in Texas. They owned real estate and ran a successful business. They were rich, powerful and used to having everything they wanted. When their first child, a son, was born, there was a week long celebration and everyone sent good wishes for the future. 

Two weeks after the boy was born, his mother took him to the local hospital. She was concerned, it seemed, that he never cried and seemed to sleep a lot, didn’t feed. The doctor weighed the baby and examined him thoroughly, he declared that the baby was fine and healthy and the mother went home reassured.

Four weeks later, a maid dropped a plate in the study where the baby was sleeping. The baby never reacted, never even woke and the whole family were alerted, concern filling them.

The father spent hours by the crib, clapping his hands, shouting, screaming and the baby never stirred. It was obvious to all that the baby was most certainly unable to hear, his mother cried and his father raged, angry at life for fucking with his family.

Grandfather Singer came down from his seat of power and declared that the family fortune should not be given to a child that was deaf and most likely mute as well. He demanded that the baby be taken from his sight, declared that he did not want to see the _‘freak’_ child in the house the next time he visited.

Ashamed, the mother took her six-week-old baby and laid him on the steps of the town orphanage. The Singers had enough money, power and influence to pay off anyone they wished and it was easy to ‘persuade’ a poor struggling doctor to sigh a ‘death certificate’ for their baby.

No one would ever connect the baby left at the orphanage with the Singer baby and, despite her grief, the mother said goodbye to her son forever and was forced to look to the future.

***

**1992**

Sharon Padalecki had her family and she was very proud of them. She and her husband owned a diner on the main strip and it was very successful. Sharon loved her kids, loved her life and she never wanted for anything.

Therefore, she was as surprised as anyone was when on a visit to the local orphanage she found herself kneeling in front of a solemn, pale faced little boy, holding his hand and wondering why he looked so sad.

It was the director who finally told her that this boy had been left on the orphanage steps as a baby. He was deaf; all tests confirmed it and he had never learned or never wanted to, speak. He was insular, lonely and kept apart from the other children. He did his chores, followed simple instructions and had been taught to read lips, but he appeared to have no interest in life, keeping his own company.

Sharon spent days trying to persuade her husband that the child would blossom if only given a chance. She took him to visit, let him see the boy for himself, took the boy little gifts, bags of candy and small toys which he accepted, wonderingly, his soft hazel eyes holding hers for that little bit longer, his tiny hand reaching out, squeezing her own so tightly that she knew she could not let him go.

They adopted the boy and named him Jared. 

***

**Present Day**

It seemed that nature was a contradictory creature. She had taken Jared’s hearing and speech, but had bestowed a beauty upon him beyond all measure.

Jared had grown tall, taller than his adopted siblings, taller than his momma and even his dad. He towered over most of the diner’s customers, his head all but brushing the door as he moved in and out of the kitchens.

He was well built too, his shoulders broad and strong, his chest taut, his stomach flat. He had long chestnut hair, which curled around his neck and ears; his face was perfect, high cheekbones and a soft, sensual mouth. His eyes were hazel, stormy and bright, slanting beneath his eyebrows like a cats. Sharon would sit at the counter sometimes and just watch him move, gracefully, around the diner, sweeping and clearing the tables, seemingly enjoying even the smallest of tasks.

She was sure that he loved her and her family that he was grateful to be here but she never could tell. He was gentle and kind, despite his size and he did everything that was asked of him. She had taught him to write his name and his address, so that if he ever got lost it would be easier for him to find his way home; not that that was likely, for Jared never went very far, sticking close to home, close to what was familiar to him, close to what was safe.

Sometimes Sharon felt a deep sadness; Jared was nearing 26 years old and should be thinking about settling down, maybe raising a family of his own. She knew, in her heart, that this was out of the question. Jared was special; he could not hear and had never spoken, communicating with his eyes, his face, his expressions. When he smiled, it was so big and wide, dimpling his cheeks and lighting the whole room. Sharon saw girls staring at him, giggling behind their hands, but he never seemed to notice. He appeared to be happy and that was all she could hope for.

She only wished she could give him more.

***

**Jensen**

Jensen Ackles was a good cop, one of the best. He had been in the force since he was seventeen years old and worked his way up from uniform to plain clothes, putting away enough of the city’s scum to make him popular with his peers. He had a nice home, an expensive car and a place by the coast for holidays. The fact that he also had an ex wife, an ex fiancée and several failed relationships shouldn’t bother him as much as it did, but he was turning thirty and feeling more than a little lonely, wondering if he would ever settle down and find that special someone.

He sat in the diner waiting for his burger, watching the world go by. He hadn’t frequented this place much, preferring to eat at his desk or at some fancier restaurant. His pals had recommended it, telling him that this particular place served the best burgers in San Antonio and that he was a fool not to try it.

Now he found himself peering at the guy who was cleaning the table opposite. He was tall, taller than Jensen and broad, like a wrestler or something, but his face was smooth and innocent, his hair too long, his clothes a little old fashioned, baggy beneath the striped apron that he wore. He moved like a dancer, despite his size, whirling the dishrag in his hands like a baton, his head bobbing up and down, as if he were listening to some invisible orchestra or something.

As Jensen stared, the guy looked up and caught his gaze, slanting hazel eyes sparkling, mouth turning up a little at the corners. Jensen nodded in acknowledgment, lifting a hand in greeting, watching in amazement as that quirk of lips became a full on grin, dimples and white teeth, a big hand coming up and waving back, fingers flexing and curling.

The man moved closer and Jensen saw that he had a name tag pinned to his apron. _**JARED**_.

“Hey Jared,” Jensen drawled. “How’s it goin’, dude?”

The guy continued to grin at him, not acknowledging him at all. Jensen frowned, puzzled, cause the guy, Jared, still looked friendly and everything, smiling big and wide.

“The quiet type, huh?” Jensen hoped that his joke didn’t fall flat, but Jared didn’t react to that either and Jensen felt his stomach churning as he wondered if the guy was maybe a little simple, a little short of one or two cells.

“My son is deaf.” A woman appeared behind him, smiling a little and gave Jared’s apron strings a little pull, directing him towards the next table. “Not stupid.”

Jensen flushed, feeling more than a little ashamed, afraid that his expression had given him away.

“Hey,” he shook his head. “I’m real sorry, Ma’am. No offense.”

“None taken.” She looked tired and sad and Jensen felt something tug in his chest. “I’ll get him to bring out your burger,” she continued. “He seems to have taken a liking to you.”

Jensen nodded and watched her go, his own feelings churning in his stomach, warring with the hunger there.

He realized he was looking forward to more than just his lunch and he grinned to himself.

This diner was certainly going to become a regular feature in his routine from now on, although for the life of him he didn’t quite understand why.


	2. Chapter 2

**Jensen**

Jared put the burger down in front of Jensen and grinned at him. Jensen picked up the bun and bit into it, relish dripping onto his chin. He felt his mouth water at the taste and he smiled up at Jared, thumbs up, and mouthed, very clearly, “This is really good.”

Jared nodded, obviously understanding and was about to turn away when Jensen caught his arm.

“Sit,” he said, mouth working.

Jared sat; cocking his head on one side and watching Jensen eat. Jensen chewed slowly, enjoying his burger and sipping at his coffee. He wiped his chin on the back of his hand, licking his lips and patting his stomach contentedly.

Jensen had dealt with deaf people before, as part of his job in the force. He had had to question many witnesses and even criminals and had come across all sorts of obstacles in that task. Usually he would use an interpreter or someone who could use sign language, but sometimes, if his witness could read lips, he would conduct the interview himself.

Now he used this technique on Jared, fascinated, without really knowing why, with the boy. He offered Jared some coffee and Jared nodded, pushing an empty cup over towards him, watching as he poured the steaming liquid into the cup and adding his own sugar and cream.

“So,” Jensen spoke softly, but clearly. “How old are you, Jared?”

Jared held up his hands and extended all his fingers and thumbs, he then did it again and then held up one hand and an extra finger, head on one side.

“Twenty-six?” Jensen said, grinning and Jared wriggled his eyebrows, nodding enthusiastically. Jensen sipped at his coffee and watched as Jared chased sugar granules around the table with his fingers. 

“Have you worked here long?” Jensen asked and Jared cocked his head on one side and showed Jensen both hands, indicating ten years. Jensen nodded to show he understood and Jared gestured to his mother, his eyes bright and unreadable. Jensen frowned, unable to understand, until Sharon Padalecki noticed them and came over, patting Jared on the shoulder and indicating that he should continue with his duties. Jared pouted and frowned, exaggeratedly, sticking his tongue between his lips and shrugging at Jensen, picking up his dishrag and continuing to clean.

“He – he’s a nice guy,” Jensen was aware of sounding lame, but Sharon just smiled and nodded.

“Yeah, yeah he is.” She watched as Jared moved around the tables, still smiling broadly. “He is certainly fascinated with you. He doesn’t normally _talk_ to the customers much.”

Jensen felt a flush across his cheekbones and grinned. “Must be my awesome good looks,” he said and Sharon laughed. Jensen watched her watch Jared for a moment.

“Was he born deaf?” he asked, finally.

“I don’t know. We adopted him when he was ten years old. Apparently, he was left on the steps of the orphanage as a baby and – well – they struggled to cope with him, didn’t really give him the treatment or care he really needed, or that he really deserved. He was so scared when he first came here. He used to hide in his room, refuse to come out, refuse to eat. I had to home school him and it was hard, really hard. He can read a little, write his name and address. He is clearly an intelligent boy but – but sometimes it is hard to know what is going on in his head. I worry about him really. He – he needs more than I can give him and I don’t know what to do about that.”

“Can he speak?”

“He doesn’t make any sounds – either can’t or won’t – it is hard for me to tell,” she sighed. “He needs a friend really – he needs a friend.”

***

Jensen found himself visiting the diner on a regular basis. He would sit at the same table and always encourage Jared to come and sit with him. He told Jared his name, told him a little bit about his job and his life, watching in delight as Jared responded to him, smiling and laughing, wriggling his eyebrows to indicate how he was feeling, pointing to things, enjoying the interaction. Jensen felt warm and content every time he left, hardly able to wait until he could visit again.

His partner, Jeff, gave him two tickets for a basketball game and he sat and stared at them for hours, pondering. He wondered if Jared would come with him and if Sharon would let him. He realized that Jared was an adult and able to make his own decisions but he also knew that Jared was such an innocent and not used to being out in the world.

Finally, he built up the courage to take the tickets to the diner and he sat at his usual table waiting for Jared to join him.

Jared sat opposite him as usual and thrust the menu at him, pointing at a glossy picture of a pie and rubbing his stomach. Jensen grinned and nodded. “Good pie on the menu today, huh?”

Jared nodded, licking his lips and Jensen grinned again. “I’m gonna order me a piece of that pie,” he said. “So it better be good.”

Jared waggled his eyebrows and laughed, dimples deep and eyes bright. Jensen leaned over the table and took Jared’s large hand in his own, turning it over and laying one of the tickets on the palm, pointing to it and then to himself.

“You wanna come?” he asked.

Jared stared at him for a moment, mouth open, head on one side. He tapped his hand on the table for a moment and then stroked the ticket gently with one finger, his smile tentative.

“Yeah – for you,” Jensen reiterated. “The ticket is for you.”

Jared bit his lip and turned to where his mom sat, watching them. He wrinkled his nose and shrugged, still clutching the ticket hard, as if it might fly out of his hands at any moment.

“You’ll be okay with me,” Jensen stated. “I’ll clear it with your mom, promise.”

Jared beamed suddenly and it was as if the sun had come out from behind a cloud. He held the ticket against his chest tightly, nodding enthusiastically, letting Jensen know, clearly, what he wanted to do.

Jensen felt his heart contract and his belly tighten. He felt happy, light and strangely excited, almost as if he was going on an important date.

He had no idea why Jared Padalecki moved him so much, but he did and Jensen was determined that he was going to be the one to make Jared happy, that he was going to be the one thing that Jared needed and wanted.

He was going to be Jared’s friend.


	3. Chapter 3

As they entered the basketball arena, the roar of the crowd nearly knocked Jensen off his feet. The whole room was loud and hot, people laughing, chatting, cheering, the scent of popcorn, hot dogs and coffee permeating the air.

Jared stood beside him, eyes wide and bright. He was clutching his ticket in one hand and Jensen’s jacket in the other. He looked around him, mouth open in wonder and he pulled at Jensen’s arm, pointing at the court and the hoops, excitement coloring his expression.

“Come on.” Jensen made sure that Jared could read his lips and knew what was happening. “We have seats near the front, okay.” He guided Jared down the steps and to the right row, watching with a grin on his face as Jared shuffled along the seats to sit down, virtually twitching with excitement.

“Do you want somethin’ to eat?” Jensen gestured to the food stand and Jared nodded, making a biting gesture and rubbing his stomach. He pointed to a girl eating a hot dog and held up two fingers. Jensen laughed, shaking his head. “I guess you are a growing boy,” was all he said.

Jared ate his hot dogs with relish, chewing enthusiastically and wiping at his chin with the back of his hand. He watched as the teams trotted out, bouncing the basketball and warming up by shooting hoops. Jensen gestured to the guys on the court and gave Jared a nudge with his shoulder. “You are taller than half of them, dude,” he said.

Jared laughed his head on one side, he mimed bouncing the ball and shooting and Jensen laughed with him. Then he pointed to the cheerleaders and nodded.

“Do you think they are hot, dude?” Jensen asked.

Jared frowned and shook his head, he flushed a little, his cheekbones blooming red, biting his lower lip as if he were thinking of something.

“Not your type, huh?” Jensen said, with a slight smile. “Maybe you prefer college chicks or rockers?”

Jared shook his head again and made a big show of watching the game. Jensen shrugged and turned his attention to the players, wondering why Jared seemed so embarrassed.

Despite the fact that his companion couldn’t speak to him, Jensen had his best night out for a long, long time. Jared was a fun guy, enthusiastic, happy and grateful, seemingly happy to enjoy Jensen’s company. He clapped when the Spurs scored and gave the thumbs down sign when the opposition made a basket. He ate several hot dogs, drank so much coke that Jensen thought he might suffer a sugar rush and laughed along with Jensen, easy and relaxed.

Finally, it was over and Jensen took Jared home. The younger man was flushed and contented. Hands waving around with great gusto as he attempted to demonstrate to Jensen what a great basketball player he would have made.

“I had a real good time tonight.” Jensen gave Jared’s shoulder a squeeze. “Maybe we can do it again some time.”

Jared nodded so hard that Jensen thought his head might fall off. He grinned and gave Jared’s shoulder another squeeze. “I have to work nights for a week, but after that I have some vacation time, so maybe we could hang out.”

Jared nodded again, eyebrows wriggling, mouth curving into a big, wide smile. He leaned forward and gave Jensen a big hug, then bounced up the steps to the diner, waving all the way.

***

Sharon Padalecki was overjoyed at the change in her son. Jared was coming out of himself and she knew that it was all Jensen’s doing. Jensen had taken Jared out and treated him like an equal and it had done wonders for Jared’s confidence. He was serving at tables a lot more now, wanting Sharon to teach him how to write down some of the orders, helping the customers and generally doing more around the diner than just cleaning.

He was getting better at going out on his own too; Sharon sending him to the local store to get supplies, giving him notes and money, so that he could get what he wanted without having to ‘jump through too many hoops.’

The more confident he got, the more she sent Jared out and the happier he appeared. Sharon sat back and watched her son blossom, thanking God, but most of all, thanking Jensen.

***

Jensen was tired; it was late and he needed to go home and get some sleep. He was on the end of a twelve-hour shift, the sun was just beginning to rise, and he longed for coffee, donuts and soft, silk sheets.

“Hey boss.” A young officer entered his office, frowning. “We gotta robbery off Broad Street and the witness ain’t talkin’, wondered if you could help us out here – thinkin’ maybe he knew the thief and is covering up.”

Jensen bit back a yawn and nodded, he followed his officer out of the door and into the witness room, his heart sinking in his chest as he recognized, instantly, the young man who sat there.

Jared had his head in his hands and his chestnut hair hung over his fingers. Two plain clothes detectives sat opposite him, anger clear on their faces. No one spoke for a moment and then Jensen moved over to where Jared sat, placing a hand, gently, on his shoulder.

Jared turned eyes red and smeared with tears, he stared at Jensen for a long moment and then jumped up, throwing his arms around the older man and embracing him, holding him tighter and tighter, burying his face into Jensen’s shoulder.

“Boss?” The officer was frowning. “What the hell?”

“He’s fucking deaf, you moron . . . not obstructing justice at all! Just fucking deaf!” Jensen was holding Jared as hard as he could, feeling the shudders that were trembling through his body. “Just get out of here and let me calm him down. I don’t wanna see any of you in here again, do you understand?”

There was a long silence and the men nodded, shuffling out of the office, mumbling and muttering, one of them giving Jensen a puzzled, curious look as he left.

Jensen moved Jared away from him so that he could look at the younger man. Jared smiled tentatively at him, still clinging to him, mouth moving as if he were trying to speak. He moved slowly forward and, to Jensen’s utter astonishment, pressed a tiny kiss on the side of Jensen’s neck, tender and unexpected, eyes bright as they stared into Jensen’s.

“Jared?” Jensen pulled the younger man closer, stroking his hair. “Are you okay, now? Do you wanna go home?”

Jared nodded, smiling again, lips still close to Jensen’s skin, the scent of his cologne strong in Jensen’s nostrils. He pulled at Jensen’s shirt and pointed to the phone, shaking his head and frowning.

“What do you want buddy? You want to go home. You want me to phone your mom?”

Jared bit his lip and shook his head. His expression was odd, unreadable and he pointed to Jensen, then himself, his eyes wide and blown.

“You want to come home with me?” Jensen swallowed, his heart thumping hard and strong, his stomach flipping as if he might be sick, a strange heat spreading through his body, making his breath hitch. “Is that what you want?”

Jared’s smile was as wide as he had ever seen it and his single, determined nod told Jensen all he needed to know.

He was so screwed at this point, but he knew, deep down inside, that he couldn’t say no to Jared, wouldn’t say no to Jared and he reached in his pocket for his cell, searching for Sharon Padalecki’s number.

He was taking Jared home.


	4. Chapter 4

****

Jensen switched on the light and, feeling embarrassed, cleaned up all the magazines and dirty plates so that Jared could take a seat. Jared looked pale and still a little shaken and Jensen knew that, at some point, they had to talk about the robbery Jared had witnessed, knowing that it was going to be hard getting anything at all out of the younger man.

“Do you want something to eat?” Jensen settled Jared on the sofa and knelt in front of him, speaking clearly. Jared shook his head and Jensen bit his lip. “Maybe something to drink? I have beer.”

Jared nodded then, smiling a little. Jensen grinned and went into the kitchen, popping a cold tin out of the icebox and handing it to Jared. Jared opened it and drank it gratefully, relaxing a little.

“You are gonna have to talk about this robbery sometime,” Jensen said, gently, sipping at his own beer. “I know it is difficult, but all my men wanted to do was to catch those thieves.”

Jared swallowed and nodded, he looked down, picking at a thread in his jeans. Jensen felt instant guilt and tapped Jared’s knee to gain his attention.

“Look, I’m off duty okay, so we don’t have to talk about this now. How about we – we . . . ,” he trailed off, feeling foolish, a flush coloring his face. He was about to ask if Jared wanted to listen to some music or maybe watch a movie. Jared looked at him, head on one side and then he grinned, dropping to his knees beside Jensen’s cabinet and reaching in, pulling out an old copy of ‘The Terminator’ and handing it to Jensen, nodding enthusiastically.

“You like this?” Jensen knew he sounded surprised and, to his shame, he realized that it didn’t matter; Jared couldn’t hear his astonishment, only see it in his face. Jared nodded again and made a gesture, lifting his hands up to form, what looked like, a gun and holding them up against his head. Jensen laughed. “Let’s get to it then,” he said.

They settled, side by side, on the sofa, Jensen fetching more beer and some chips. Jared kicked off his shoes and let his feet rest on Jensen’s knees, his head lolling back on the headrest. Jensen let the movie run, occasionally glancing at Jared, seeing the younger man grin and then wince as the Terminator shot and attacked his victims.

Jensen realized he was feeling a little buzzed round about his fourth beer. He looked across at Jared, whose face was flushed red, cheekbones high and pink. Hazel eyes stared back at him and Jared gave him a soppy smile, leaning back further and, briefly, closing his eyes.

The movie ended and Jensen bent to take out the DVD. He felt something move behind him and he turned to see Jared on his knees behind him, smiling. Jensen swallowed hard and Jared leaned forward, his hands reaching out and resting on Jensen’s shoulders. Jensen felt his stomach clench and he stared at Jared, the thoughts tumbling over themselves in his head, his heart thumping so hard he thought that it was going to explode out of his chest.

Jared lifted his hand and took Jensen’s, pressing it against his own chest, so that Jensen could feel the soft thud of Jared’s heart. He watched as Jared put his other hand over Jensen’s heart and then bent forward and brushed Jensen’s lips with his own, tentative at first, as if he were afraid that Jensen was going to pull away.

Jensen had never kissed another man and it felt strange. He could feel Jared’s heart beating; hear his harsh breathing close to Jensen’s ear. He felt Jared’s rough stubble brush against his cheek and he gasped his mouth opening of its own accord and letting Jared’s tongue inside.

He felt Jared’s heartbeat quicken, heard his breathing hitch and Jared pushed himself against Jensen so that he could feel the insistent hardness against his thigh, Jared’s erection obvious.

“No.” Jensen broke the kiss, trying to pull away. Jared shook his head, holding Jensen’s hand hard against his heart, pressing his own hand over Jensen’s. Jensen wanted to bolt, but he couldn’t, wouldn’t do that to Jared. He could see the want in the younger man’s eyes; feel his passion in every beat of his heart. Jensen swallowed and almost jumped out of his skin when Jared released his hand and let his fingers wander lower, pushing against Jensen’s groin.

Jensen went hard so fast it was almost embarrassing. He had never had any attraction for a guy before, never even imagined what it would be like, but Jared was moving him so much, turning him on more than he ever thought possible. He stared at Jared and the younger man smiled at him, sweet and wide, dimples deep and inviting. Jared let his fingers play over Jensen’s zipper and then he pulled it down, reached into denim and damp cotton, and pulled out Jensen’s hard cock, staring at it, eyes wide.

“Jared,” Jensen choked out, oblivious to the fact that Jared couldn’t hear him. Jared thumbed the head of Jensen’s cock, then wrapped his hand around it, and began to jerk him hard and fast, his face a study in both passion and concentration.

Jensen’s head fell back and Jared leaned forward, biting at his neck, sucking at his Adam’s apple and mouthing against it, tongue and teeth working their magic. Jensen groaned, thrusting into Jared’s fist, unable to control himself now and he came fast, warmth spilling over Jared’s fingers within minutes, his heart pounding hard against his chest.

Jared wiped his hand across his jeans and grinned, eyes slanting and cat-like as they gazed at Jensen, pupils large and black. Jensen shook his head and looked down to see Jared’s hardness straining against his jeans, the younger man bucking his hips into thin air, almost as if he didn’t know what to do next.

Jensen undid Jared’s belt and pulled down jeans and white boxers together, freeing Jared’s cock. Jared was huge and Jensen stared for a moment, shaking his head. Jared was shaking now and Jensen shushed him, stroking down his arms and chest.

He had never given a blow-job, but he knew what he liked and he wanted to do that to Jared. He was aware that he might be Jared’s first, that, despite his age, Jared was little more than an innocent boy and Jensen had to be careful, had to be gentle. He went down onto his hands and knees and closed his mouth around Jared’s cock, licking at the pre-come there and mouthing at the head.

He licked and sucked, bringing his hand in to play, squeezing gently at Jared’s balls and stroking the base of his cock. It was erotic yet strange; Jensen was used to hearing noise during sex, his ex wife being particularly vocal. Now all he could hear was Jared’s increasingly frantic breathing and he sucked harder, a flood of warmth on his tongue his only warning before Jared bucked forward once and came in his mouth.

Jensen drew back and stared at Jared; his eyes were closed, his mouth open. He looked debauched and fucked out, his cheeks bright red, his hair in his face. Slowly he opened his eyes and stared down at Jensen, his expression so open and so loving it took Jensen’s breath away.

Jared moved towards Jensen and grabbed his hand again, pressing it again over his, now slowing, heart. He stared at Jensen, eyes wide and bright, his mouth moving soundlessly, frantically trying to tell Jensen what he already knew.

“Yeah,” said Jensen, reaching out and drawing Jared’s free hand over his own heart again, his meaning clear. “Me too, Jared, me too.”


	5. Chapter 5

Jensen woke slowly, feeling something warm pressed up against his back. He was only half awake, mouth dry and head a little fuzzy from last nights beer, but he was sure that something hard and insistent was pushing at his spine and he felt a lazy smile form on his face as he realized just what it was.

Jared’s long arms came around him and hugged him closer, his eager erection humping the bottom of Jensen’s back. Jensen let his body go lax so that Jared could get even nearer and he let out a moan of pleasure as one of Jared’s hands closed around his cock and began to stroke him, easy and gentle until he was almost going out of his mind with pleasure.

Again, Jensen was thrown by the silence; his own moans the only sound in the room. Jared’s breathing was insistent and hitched and his body was trembling, his cock wet against Jensen’s naked ass, his arms shaking as they tried to pull Jensen, impossibly, closer.

Suddenly there was a wet warmth against his spine and he realized that Jared had reached his climax. He rolled over in Jared’s arms and pressed a long, passionate kiss on Jared’s mouth, pushing his cock into Jared’s hand and coming with a loud squeak, his whole body pulsing with pleasure.

He lay on his back and pulled Jared down onto his chest. The younger man stroked Jensen’s skin with gentle fingers and Jensen felt an alien warmth flood his body, affection and pleasure warring in his gut.

Finally and reluctantly, he got up, staring down at Jared’s naked body, as he lay, replete, on Jensen’s bed. Jared was smiling, happily, his long legs stretched out; his arms flung either side of him. He put his hand over his heart and grinned up at Jensen, the message clear.

“I should take you home,” Jensen said, reaching for his boxers. He felt Jared’s hand on his arm and turned to see the younger man shaking his head and patting at the bed. “You can’t stay, Jared. I-I have to go to work and – and you should get home before your mom starts to worry.”

Jared blinked, his eyes going dark, his mouth turning down. He shook his head again and pointed to Jensen, patting the bed more persistently. Jensen couldn’t help but smile, feeling pretty much helpless as Jared stared at him like a kicked puppy, his head on one side.

“I guess I could take a vacation,” he mused. “Fuck knows they owe me one.” He thought of his beach house in Clearwater and chewed his lip. “Hey, would you like to go to the coast? You know maybe spend a few days by the ocean?”

Jared frowned at him, shrugging; Jensen paused for a moment and then pulled out a glossy brochure from under the bed. He pointed at the sea and the sand and then at himself and Jared. “You and me,” he stated, clearer this time. “Take a little vacation?”

Jared’s smile was wide and bright and he jumped up onto the bed, bouncing up and down on the mattress until Jensen was dizzy. Jensen shook his head and put a hand on Jared’s shoulder. “I guess we should call your mom,” was all he said.

There was good-natured banter and a lot of teasing when he rang the precinct. He hadn’t taken a vacation since he had been divorced and the sounds of, _‘Jensen’s got himself a new woman,'_ and, _‘What are you up to, you dog you?’_ came floating down the phone. He didn’t bother to correct them, not prepared to face up to the fact that he had suddenly and, unexpectedly, turned gay and certainly not ready to confess as much to his friends.

Sharon Padalecki was a different matter; at first she believed that Jensen was just protecting her son, shielding him from what he had witnessed, when she realized that Jensen wanted to take her son away, she was a little reluctant, obviously wondering what his motives were.

Jensen felt a little guilty, certain that Sharon was not going to understand what was going on between himself and Jared. He didn’t really want to lie to her, but he wasn’t keen on telling her the whole truth either. In the end he settled on the middle ground, explaining that he thought Jared would like the ocean and that he had a few days off and was happy to have Jared as a companion, a friend. He heard Sharon relax then and her voice grew lighter, happier.

“He needs a friend,” she repeated those words to him again, making him flush with guilt. “You are a good friend, Jensen.”

They stopped at the diner to pick up a few things and Sharon brought out a packed lunch and some coffee for the journey. She explained to Jensen that Jared had never flown and that he might be uneasy in the crowded airport, but apart from that, he would be fine. She kissed her son and hugged him tight, stroking his hair and urging to have a good time.

Jared took to flying like a pro and didn’t even seem to panic in the airport lounge. He stuck close to Jensen, his hand resting on Jensen’s arm, but apart from that, he seemed at ease and content.

The sun was setting when they reached the beach hut and Jared stood in the sand, wriggling his toes in it and staring out at the ocean, his mouth open in amazement. He pulled at Jensen’s arm, urging him down the beach and Jensen went, unable to resist.

***

The night was still warm and the moon was high over the water. Jensen breathed in the scent of salt and brine, his eyes fixed on the distant horizon. Beside him Jared just stood, gazing at the water, swallowing hard. He turned to Jensen, his eyes bright, his mouth moving, almost as if he were trying to form words.

Jensen put his arm around Jared’s shoulder and pulled him close, sharing in his wonder.

“You’ve never seen the ocean before, have you?” He asked, finally and Jared shook his head, tearing his eyes away from the vast spread of the sea and turning into Jensen, burying his head in the older man’s shoulder, his hands stroking Jensen’s hair, face and shoulders.

Jensen soothed him, running his hand through soft, chestnut curls, seeing the world afresh through Jared’s wondering eyes and realizing that he had grown so cynical, so hard.

Jared was breathing in, deep and slow, and, finally, he lifted his head from Jensen’s shoulder and smiled at him, dimples deep and inviting. Jensen pulled him into a kiss, tongues touching and mouths opening. Jared tasted of salt and mint, he smelled fresh and clean, his skin soft against Jensen’s cheek. Jensen felt his heartbeat quicken, his thoughts tumble over each other, full of nothing else but Jared.

There, on the beach, seemingly a million miles away from real life, Jensen Ackles fell in love.


	6. Chapter 6

***

Jensen woke to an empty bed, sun filtering through the blinds. He swung his legs out and over and padded to the window, staring out onto the beach, searching for Jared.

The younger man was waist deep in the ocean, laughter clear on his face. Jensen grinned to himself and let himself out of the French windows, striding across the sand and stopping at the edge of the water, shivering as the water washed across his bare feet.

He watched Jared in the water for a long time. The younger man showed no fear, splashing and gasping, as the waves broke over his flesh. Jensen wished he could hear Jared laugh, wished he could shout out to Jared, have Jared turn and see him, acknowledge him with a wave.

Jensen realized then that he would never be able to tell Jared that he loved him, realized that he would never hear Jared say the same thing to Jensen. It hurt, more than he thought possible, and he stood in the water, goose bumps on his flesh, his heart heavy and full.

Jared turned, suddenly and saw him; he grinned, happily, dimples deep in flushed cheeks and he beckoned, his eyes wide and inviting. Jensen shook his head and mimicked an exaggerated shiver. Jared laughed and pulled down his mouth, his thoughts obvious.

Finally, Jared waded back through the water to stand by Jensen’s side. He was only wearing black boxers and his long body was healthy looking, his chest taut, his stomach flat. He shook his hair like a dog and droplets of water landed on Jensen’s face and neck. Jensen gritted his teeth and dipped his hand into the water, splashing Jared again and again, until the younger man gasped, soundlessly and ran out of the water, Jensen chasing after him.

After breakfast, they spent a long, hot day, on the beach just relaxing, watching the ocean. Jensen read the local paper whilst Jared lay back on the sand, long fingers trailing through the yellow grains. When the sun went down, Jensen lit a barbecue and burnt sausages and homemade burgers over the grill, laughing as Jared forced them down, rubbing his stomach and feigning enjoyment.

Jensen’s skin was already turning red and he rubbed cream onto his shoulders, wincing. Jared took the tube out of his hand and took a large dollop of the white stuff, smearing it over Jensen’s burning skin gently and lovingly, his head close to Jensen’s, a smile on his face.

Jensen felt himself growing hard under Jared’s innocent ministrations. He wanted Jared so much, wanted to throw him down on the bed and fuck him senseless. It was weird, almost bizarre, because Jensen had never felt like this before in his life and the fact he was feeling like this with another man both disturbed him and, yet, turned him on even more.

He felt Jared’s hands still on his shoulders and he looked up to see the younger man gazing down on him with lustful eyes. Jared’s hands moved lower to wrap around Jensen’s cock, the cream on his fingers only serving to enhance the sensations. Jensen moaned and thrust into Jared’s eager grasp, imagining what it would be like to be inside of Jared, imagining that it was Jared’s body that was gripping him rather than his hand.

Jared put his free hand on Jensen’s lips, stroking them. Jensen opened his mouth and Jared slipped his finger inside, pulling it out and then thrusting it in. It seemed innocent, but as Jensen bucked once more into Jared’s hand he realized that Jared was sending him an obvious message and he gasped, coming hard into Jared’s fist, unable to hold back the explosion that ripped through him, almost passing out with the sensation.

When he came back to himself, Jared was laying on the bed, naked, his legs opened wide in invitation. Jensen bit his lip, staring at that perfect body, at Jared’s painfully erect cock. He couldn’t do this, not right now, he was in a position of trust here and he didn’t want to destroy that trust.

He knelt between Jared’s knees and took that beautiful cock in his mouth, licking and sucking. Jared pulled at his head, trying to lift him up, but Jensen stayed put, his hands on Jared’s hips. The younger man began to buck almost unconsciously and, without warning, came hot and wet, in Jensen’s eager mouth. Jensen swallowed it all down and, finally, sat back on his heels, staring at Jared, trying to read the expression on the younger man’s face and, for the first time, failing.

“Hey,” he said, clearly. “I want to . . . God I do but let’s take this slowly, okay? Take it slowly.”

Jared stared at him for a long moment, eyes dark and a little sad. He opened his mouth and then closed it again, his expression one of abject misery. For a moment he lay still, then he pointed to his ears, his eyes full of questions.

“No. Oh God, no Jared it isn’t because you are deaf. It isn’t.” Jensen lay down beside Jared, turning him so that they were face to face. “It isn’t you, its me. I just want to do this thing properly, okay? I want it to be perfect for both of us. I-I want it to be so good.”

Jared cocked his head on one side and then smiled. Relief surged through Jensen like a fire and he hugged Jared close against him, all the love he felt warming him, filling him with both happiness and uncertainty.

***

His cell phone woke him early the next day and he groped for it on the side of the bed, pressing the answer button and answering dozily, “Hello”.

“Boss?” His second in command sounded a little guilty. “I’m real sorry to disturb you on your vacation, boss but we’ve got those guys involved in the robbery and we need that deaf guy to come and identify them. We phoned his mom and she told me he was outta town and I wondered if you had a way we could reach him.”

Jensen bit his lip, propping himself up on his elbow and staring down at Jared, still fast asleep, looking beautiful, perfect and completely oblivious.

“Yeah – yeah I can get in touch with him, it might take a day or so but I’ll bring him in, okay?”

“Sure boss, and thanks.” The phone clicked off and Jensen sighed, his whole body tense.

So much for a long vacation.

***

He managed to drag out another two blissful sun filled days and then he had to take Jared back to the City. He was as nervous as hell, wondering how Jared was going to react to an identity parade, how Jared was going to be able to stand up and, eventually, testify. He had called Jared’s mom and she had reacted as he had predicted, panicking and wanting to come down to the station herself. Jensen had calmed her, telling her that it just wasn’t necessary and that he would take care of her son. Sharon had thanked him then and it had given him yet another reason to feel guilty and more than a little culpable.

***

Jared looked pale under his tan and he stood by the two way mirror, staring at the guys in front of him, his head on one side.

They hadn’t hurt anyone; turned out they had attempted to rob the local store. The clerk had been roughed up a little and was still in shock and one of the gang had pulled a gun. They were small potatoes in the world of crime, but they were rough looking and threatening enough to worry Jared.

He had been in the store when the attempted robbery had taken place and had hidden behind one of the display shelves. He had gotten a good view of all of them, the stupid fuckers not even bothering with masks, and his testimony would be integral. Jensen tried to explain everything to him as they stood waiting for the solicitor and Jared appeared to understand. He looked scared though and Jensen kept his hand subtly on Jared’s arm, near enough to give comfort, but not enough for his men to suspect anything other than concern.

Jared pressed his nose against the glass and stared at the men. His breathing was harsh, shallow and Jensen squeezed his arm a little, a small but intimate gesture. Jared turned and met Jensen’s gaze and then he smiled, wobbly and unsure, but there just the same. He pointed to one man and then another, his hand shaking but his face determined. Jensen took down the numbers and handed the pad to his colleague.

“You sure?” He asked Jared. “Absolutely sure?”

Jared nodded, pointing again and miming holding a gun. Jensen let out a breath that he didn’t realize that he had been holding and gestured that the men be taken away.

“I should get you home,” he said to Jared. “Your momma will be wanting to see you, she must have missed you.”

Jared shook his head and Jensen bit back a sigh.

“Jared. You – you have to go home sometime,” he said.

Jared shook his head again and shrugged, his shoulders rising and falling, the gesture clear.

Jensen thought of a million excuses and a thousand reasons why this was not a good idea but he did nothing, said nothing.

Jared was coming home with him again.


	7. Chapter 7

“We have to go and see your mom, dude.” Jensen ran the razor over his face, rubbing his chin to make sure it was as smooth as it could be. “I have to go back to work nights in a couple of days and you can’t stay here on your own.”

Jared frowned, wriggling eyebrows and shrugs telling Jensen more than words ever could. Jared hated being thought of as a child, Jensen had learned that much and he watched as the younger man put on his sneakers, tying the laces with an angry flourish, watching Jensen closely, his eyes narrowed.

“I know you are not a baby,” Jensen said, softly but clearly. “But I don’t like the thought of you here alone whilst I’m at work and, anyhow, your momma will be missing your help in the diner.”

Jared shrugged into his jacket, expression resigned. He moved swiftly, placing an unexpected but passionate kiss on Jensen’s mouth, hands coming round Jensen’s waist and pulling him closer, tongue searching and gaining entry. Jensen groaned and went with the kiss, pulling away before they ended up back in bed again.

“I don’t want to leave you either,” Jensen said. “If that makes you feel any better.”

Jared grinned then, dimples flashing. His mouth moved soundlessly and he frowned, his frustrations obvious. Jensen put his hand over Jared’s lips, feeling the movement there, wondering, yet again, what Jared’s voice would sound like, what it would be like to hear Jared’s voice?

***

The diner was quiet and Sharon jumped to her feet, arms wrapping round Jared’s shoulder and hugging him tight. “You look well,” she said, holding him at arms length, her head on one side, a gesture that Jared obviously copied. “Did you like the ocean?”

Jared nodded, enthusiasm clear on his face. He pulled away from the hug and sat next to Jensen, letting his hand fall, casually onto Jensen’s knee. Jensen felt his face flush red but couldn’t bring himself to move Jared’s hand away. Sharon frowned a little and watched for a moment and then she brushed her skirt and became almost businesslike. “Your dad needs some help in the kitchen,” she said to Jared. “Would you like to give him a hand whilst I talk to your friend here.”

Jared pouted, his distaste obvious, but he got up anyway and mooched into the kitchen, blowing a kiss to Jensen as he went, making sure his mom saw every movement that he made.

Sharon was silent for a long while and then she turned to Jensen. “My son seems very fond of you,” she said, dryly.

“Mrs Padalecki, Sharon – look – I . . . .”

“It is alright.” She smiled, slightly. “I have never seen him look so well, so happy. I often wondered if he would ever find someone to love him for himself, someone who could see beyond his problems and see the wonderful man he was. I am pleased he has found someone, more than pleased. You are good for him, Jensen.”

“He is good for me,” Jensen swallowed. “He makes me happy, too.”

“I worry about him,” Sharon said, sadly. “There is so much he cannot do, so much he is missing out on. I worry so much sometimes, it hurts.”

“Why didn’t he learn sign language?” Jensen asked. “I mean, we have the trial coming up soon and it is gonna be real hard for him to testify, if he could sign it would make things so much easier.”

“He was nearly eleven when he came here and he had been pretty much neglected in the orphanage. He was so withdrawn, so scared, it took us months to even get him to come out of his room and eat, let alone anything else. I tried to teach him what I could, but he was, and still is, a stubborn kid. He would just turn away if he couldn’t do it, withdraw into himself. It’s my fault really, but by the time he got confident enough to do things for himself it was too late.”

“I have a great sign language expert who I use for cases, she would be only too glad to teach Jared. I guess – I guess he might learn now.”

“For you he would.” Sharon smiled. “For you, he definitely would.”

“Then will you let me introduce him to her? Give him a chance?”

“Of course, but I’m not your problem.” She grinned wider, watching the closed kitchen door.

“Yeah.” Jensen grinned back, he thought of Jared, reluctantly working in the hot kitchen and he wondered if he could persuade him to see the sign language expert, wondered if he might learn something before the trial.

Maybe, just maybe, they could learn something together.

***

Jensen couldn’t sleep. He missed Jared’s presence in the bed beside him and he couldn’t wait to be back on days again so that he could bring Jared back here. He sighed, getting out of bed and booting up his laptop.

He surfed the net, idly, checking his e-mails and working on several crime reports. Without realizing it, he found himself on sites pertaining to helping the deaf and he clicked the link, amazed at what he found.

There were surgeons who offered a simple operation called, Cochlear Implants to cure deafness, implants that could help very deaf people to hear. Jensen swallowed as he read, wincing at the cost, realizing that, as with most things, money talked.

He wished that he could afford to take Jared to one of these specialists, to help Jared hear for the first time in his short life. He sighed as he clicked off the laptop, wondering just how much he had saved in his pension fund, wondering if he might be able to mortgage off some of his house or maybe sell his holiday home. He made himself a strong cup of coffee and sat at the window, watching the sun go down. Two more nights and he would get his Jared back.

He couldn’t wait.


	8. Chapter 8

***

Jared frowns and pouts in frustration, thrusting his hands into his pockets and turning his back. Lydia, the sign language specialist, holds her finger up to Jensen and puts it over her lips. Jensen understands the gesture and sighs, wanting to go to Jared but resisting.

“It’s hard for him,” Lydia’s voice is soft. “He is doing great, honest. Both of you are, but there are gonna be times when things don’t go as planned and this, this is one of those times.” She smiled. “You have to let him come round by himself. There are a few weeks yet until the trial and I’m pretty sure you are both gonna be fine.” She smiled again, bigger this time. “Now, how about a cup of coffee? I’m parched.”

Jensen nods and goes into his kitchen. He potters around for a long time, finding the coffee pot, putting the beans in, boiling the water. It is silent in the lounge, but he didn’t expect anything else really; Jared has never made any noise and Lydia has learned to be quiet.

When he gets back into the room, Jared is back beside Lydia on the couch, hands working, fingers flexing. The look he gives Jensen is guilty and apologetic and Jensen just grins, nodding his head, accepting the apology. Jared’s face lights up and the sight of those dimples deepening makes Jensen feel weak at the knees.

Finally, they are done for the day and Lydia goes. Jared yawns, rubbing his eyes and he lies back on the couch, rubbing his stomach and licking his lips. Jensen huffs a sigh, makes sure Jared sees it.

“I’m not your chef,” he says, clearly and Jared wrinkles his nose, cracking his knuckles and moving his fingers slowly and surely, signing something that Jensen doesn’t understand but is so happy to see. “Hey,” he says with a wide grin. “I’ve not gotten as advanced as you yet, dude. Give me a break.”

Jared nods and rubs his stomach again, pointing to the kitchen.

“Okay, Mr subtle.” Jensen gives in. “Ham and eggs okay with you?”

Jared nods enthusiastically and props his feet on Jensen’s coffee table, flicking on the TV. It is an incredibly domestic scene and Jensen shakes his head, wondering when he became so soft, so pliable, and so stupidly loved up.

***

Jensen is watching the news; being a cop he knows he should maybe avoid all the death and despair, but sometimes the local interest stories throw up a lead or two and sometimes there is a heart-warming story about puppies or something to cheer him up.

Jared is half-asleep beside him, mouth open, drool beginning to form at the side of his lips. Jensen rubs an affectionate hand across his soft, messy hair and grins as Jared snuggles into the touch. In two more days, Jensen is back on nights and Jared will have to go home again.

Jensen knows what Jared wants; the younger man has made it obvious and is trying everything to get Jensen to give in. Jared has taken to walking around the apartment in just his boxers, riding low and giving Jensen a great view of that hot ass. Jared seems to have lost the ability to put on or take off his own clothing, letting Jensen undo the buttons on his shirt or pull the zipper on his fly.

Most nights it does lead to them making out, Jensen with his mouth or hand around Jared’s cock, Jared returning the favor. Jared wants more than that and has offered it to Jensen so many times that Jensen is getting worried that Jared is gonna get frustrated with him and leave. He wants it too, but there is something holding him back, whether it is Jared’s deafness or his innocence or the fact that Jared’s momma has entrusted her son’s care to him, he doesn’t know, all he knows is that he isn’t made of stone and, eventually, he is gonna crack and give Jared what he wants.

The announcer’s voice breaks into his musings and he looks up to see a picture of a mangled car on the screen. The scene is local, a few blocks from there and Jensen shakes his head, astonished by the waste of human life.

The heir to the Singer family was killed today in a car crash that also took the lives of his father and fiancée. Jonathan Singer, aged 22, was the only son of Ellen and Robert Singer, whose business and personal fortune is said to be in the region of over 16 million dollars. Ellen Singer, now the sole survivor of this great dynasty, wass unavailable for comment.

Jensen shook Jared awake, turning off the television, the news story just another tragedy that could have been avoided.

“Time for bed, baby boy,” he teased and Jared leaned forward, nipping at his nose with eager teeth, hand reaching down to rest over Jensen’s fly, making him instantly hard. “You are gonna kill me,” he said with a grin and Jared nodded, happily, determined, it seemed, to have a damned good try.

***

The ringing of his cell woke him and he groaned, reaching for it and slamming it to his ear. He could hear a soft hitching breath and he frowned, wondering what was going on. He then realized that whoever was on the other end of the cell was crying and he felt his stomach clench as he recognized Sharon Padalecki’s voice.

“What’s wrong?” Jensen swallowed hard. “Has something happened?”

“Turn on the television,” was all she said and Jensen pressed the remote, so that the small portable he kept in his room clicked on.

Ellen Singer has spoken for the first time about the baby boy she abandoned as a child. It appears that the child was profoundly deaf and that Ellen was forced by her father-in-law to leave the baby on the steps of the local orphanage. Further investigation has found that the boy was eventually adopted by a local family. Ellen wishes to make contact with the boy, who it appears, is now heir to the family fortune. If anyone has any information, contact us on the above number.

“Fuck!” Jensen nearly dropped the cell. He rolled over and peered down at Jared who was sleeping, innocent and unaware. “Sharon, fuck. The baby – the baby was – is Jared?”

“Can you bring him home, Jensen.” Sharon was weeping constantly. “We need to talk – all of us.”

Jensen clicked off the cell and placed it on the bedside table.

Life, it seemed, would never be the same again.


	9. Chapter 9

Telling Jared is as hard as Jensen thought it might be; harder in fact.

They sit in the diner, Sharon making strong coffee, her husband hiding in the kitchen, Jensen opposite Jared, making sure he speaks slow and clear, making sure Jared understands what has happened. He tells Jared about his mom, what she had to do, the fact that she has been on the TV and in the news now for several days, the fact that both he and Sharon believe Jared to be the missing Singer baby.

Jared shakes his head, _No, no, no._

His fingers are signing, moving faster and faster in denial. At any other time, Jensen would be proud of Jared, really, truly proud. Now he just watches the tears flooding down Jared’s cheek, dripping onto the diner table, watches as Jared shakes his head and waves his hands, determined to state his case as loud as possible without any sound.

Sharon sips at her coffee and wipes away her own tears. Jensen leans forward and takes Jared’s hands in his own, stilling them.

“It will take just a simple DNA test and we’ll know for sure,” he said, gently. “Jared, she isn’t gonna take you away from us, okay? She just wants to see you. Please, calm down. It is gonna be okay.”

Jared stares, hazel eyes red with tears, mouth turned down, his messy hair hiding most of his expression. Jensen feels Sharon at his back, feels her pain even from where he is sitting and he sighs, wondering just who to comfort first.

***

The DNA test is simple and quick; Mrs Singer paid handsomely for the results to be fast tracked and, two days after Jared has given the swab, the letter arrives by registered post and Jensen watches as Sharon opens it. Her expression, her instant tears, tell him everything he needs to know and he hugs her to him, letting her weep on his shoulder until she is calmer. Then he calls in sick. It is the first sick leave he has had in, God knows how long and he figures that the precinct can run along nicely without him. There are people here who need him, more.

Sharon agrees to come with them; Jared looks as pale as death and he clings to Jensen like a child, more vulnerable than Jensen has ever known him to be. He doesn’t even look at them as they take the cab ride to the Singer’s magnificent home, he just stares out of the window and Jensen can tell, by the slump of his shoulders, the set of his body that he is crying.

One look at Mrs Singer tells Jensen more than tests ever could. She is tall and elegant, her chestnut hair swept into a bun at the back of her neck, her slanting hazel eyes soft and gentle, her fingers, as she takes his hand, are long and elegant and she moves with a cat-like grace that is achingly familiar.

She is crying when she sees Jared for the first time and Jensen can see that she wants to hug him but is holding back. Jared is as tense as a bow and he stands, stock still, staring at the woman in front of him, his face unreadable, his hands in his pockets, his head down.

“I am so sorry,” Mrs Singer addresses Jensen, unable to look at Jared a moment longer. “I was very young and terribly afraid. They made me do it, made me abandon him. My baby boy. My father in law was a powerful man and he had ways of doing things, of saying things, of making you do whatever he wanted. Our second child was perfect but I never forgot my boy, my first little baby. I have lost everything now and I feel as if that is punishment enough for my crimes.” She bit her lip. “I don’t want to take him away from his family, I just want him to have what he is entitled to. I want him to have his fortune.”

Jensen was speechless; he stared at Mrs Singer and at Jared who was still, deliberately, not looking at her, not making eye contact. Gently he took Jared’s hands, pulling him round, making sure that Jared was facing him.

“Jared,” he said. “You have to listen to her, okay? She wants to know you are alright, that you are okay. She wants you to have what is yours, what you should have had all those years ago.”

Jared moves his fingers and Jensen concentrates; it is almost their first contact, their first real conversation. Jared’s eyes are wide, red-rimmed and lost, his fingers move again and Jensen gets it, his heart sinking.

‘Too late.’

Jensen shakes his head.

“No. It isn’t too late, Jared. Please. Please, she is really, really sorry. Please, give her a chance.”

Mrs Singer is crying louder and Sharon looks close to tears. Jensen can feel his own throat, thick and painful, salt filling his mouth and eyes, making them sting. Jared finally looks up, looks at Mrs Singer, his mouth moving soundlessly, in a way that Jensen had never really seen before, almost as if he were trying to form words, trying to speak.

“Forgive me,” Mrs Singer’s words are clear, her hands reach out and, finally, Jared goes, letting her take him by the shoulders and hold him close. His body language is awkward, he is tense, stiff, unyielding, but it is something and Jensen feels weak with relief, leaning back against Sharon who is smiling at him, her own eyes bright.

They drink tea; it all seems so weird, so civilized, almost as if they are a proper family having lunch together, catching up on old times.

Mrs Singer hugs Sharon, thanking her for what she has done for her son. She thanks Jensen too, understanding, it seems, all too clearly what he is to Jared, what he means to her boy. Finally, she hugs Jared one more time.

“I am changing my will. All this, the house, the business, the money; it will all go to him. As for now, I want to give him an allowance of some sort, something to help him and to help his parents. It is the least I can do.”

Jensen swallows, watching Jared lean into the hug with more gusto this time, a real smile on his face, the first one for a while. He shivers, suddenly, as he realizes, for the first time, what this money means, what this money can do for Jared.

“I want to show both of you something,” he says and he reaches into his pocket for his internet research.

Jared is going to hear; Jensen is sure of it.

Together, they are going to make it happen.


	10. Chapter 10

***

Jensen wanted things to be perfect, wanted Jared to know just how he felt, just how much he was in love with him.

He had cleaned the apartment from top to bottom and called in sick yet again. He had the feeling no one believed him, but no one was saying anything, so that was cool. He had ordered in take out, Chinese, Jared’s favorite. He had lowered the lights, lit candles on the table and even bought flowers.

Jensen was wondering when he turned totally gay when Jared arrived; dressed all in black, silk shirt and tight denim, clinging to those awesome muscles.

Jared looked tired and Jensen knew that the last few weeks had been hard for him. The trial still hung over them, although these things could take weeks, even months, and Jensen was glad that this particular one was dragging on. Then there was the issue with Jared’s real mother and now, Jensen had convinced him and his family to go ahead and have the operation that could totally change his life.

The operation, a Cochlear implant, was scheduled for the next morning and Jensen couldn’t help but feel nervous. He and Sharon had spent days researching, finding a suitable surgeon, making sure that everything that could be done, would be done. He was aware that there could be complications that the operation didn’t always work for everyone, that this wouldn’t be a miracle cure and that some people even rejected the implants, unable to live with sound after years of silence. Despite all this, Jensen wanted Jared to have this chance, wanted Jared to be able to hear him, dreaming that, one day, Jared would be able to hear Jensen tell him that he loved him.

Jensen hoped, prayed, that that was what Jared wanted too.

***

Jared sat back and rubbed his stomach, sighing and taking a sip of the soda Jensen had bought, alcohol being off the menu because of tomorrows operation. He grinned at Jensen, hazel eyes warm and loving, then he got up and walked into the living room, stretching out on the couch and patting the cushion next to him, gesturing that Jensen should sit.

As soon as Jensen sat down, Jared wrapped his arms around Jensen’s shoulders and kissed him hard and fast. Jared tasted of egg fried rice and black pepper, he smelt of spicy cologne, his hair soft against Jensen’s cheek. Jensen groaned as Jared’s tongue sought and gained entry, tangling around his own, Jared’s hands running down his chest, pulling his shirt up and over his head, Jared’s bright eyes admiring him, hungry and longing.

“Hey.” Jensen pulled Jared closer, so that he could see Jensen’s lips move. “We should get an early night, big day tomorrow.”

Jared shook his head, fingers playing, idly across Jensen’s nipples, making him gasp and buck, his cock hardening almost against his will. Jared cocked his head to one side, licking his lips as he watched Jensen squirm. He put his hand on Jensen’s erection, stroking it through his jeans and Jensen moaned, unable to stop himself, pushing into those large, warm hands, desire making him tremble.

Jared stood up, taking off his own shirt, pulling down black denim and taking white jockeys with it. His movements were cat-like and graceful and Jensen swallowed hard as he gazed at Jared’s body, took in miles and miles of golden skin, admired those taut muscles, the way that Jared’s cock curved large and wanting against his flat belly. Jared grinned as he saw Jensen’s admiration and he dropped to his hands and knees, glancing at Jensen over his shoulders, invitation obvious.

Jensen could feel his whole body shaking; he had never been with a man before and he wanted this to be perfect, wanted to make it last, to make it good. He pulled off his own jeans and knelt down beside Jared.

“Not like this,” he whispered, wondering why he was being so quiet. “I want you on your back. I want you to see me, to hear what I have to say to you.”

Jared’s smile was so wide it almost split his face in two. He rolled onto his back, his arms dragging Jensen down so that they were lying face to face; his mouth on Jensen’s again, kissing him urgently and with a wild desperation. Jensen went with it, bucking against Jared, their cocks brushing against each other, the sensations so erotic that he almost came immediately, wrapped in Jared’s arms.

“I’ve never done this before,” he said. “And I guess you haven’t either.”

Jared shook his head, his teeth burying into his lower lip. He took Jensen’s hand and guided it down between his legs, opening them wider so that Jensen could be clear of his intentions.

Jensen gulped; he turned away for a moment and retrieved the lube from his jeans pocket, smothering it over his fingers and gently rubbing against Jared’s hole, watching the younger man all the time, trying to gauge what he was feeling.

Jared’s eyes rolled back in his head as Jensen entered him with one finger and then another, trying to find the spot he knew could cause nothing but pleasure. There were no sounds to help him, just the heavy hitching breathing, Jared pushing down against his fingers, his stomach quivering, sweat pouring down his neck and chest.

He heard Jared’s breathing quicken and felt him push even harder and he knew he had hit the right spot. Jared was shaking now, urging him on and Jensen lubed up his cock, pushing up and into Jared as slowly as he could, not wanting to do anything to hurt him.

Jared’s eyes opened suddenly and he gazed at Jensen, cheeks pink, pupils black and blown. His expression was one of wonder, his hands clutching at Jensen’s back, urging him on, urging him further and further in, until Jensen was buried balls deep in Jared; both of them shaking with the amazement of it.

It was so different from being with his wife, with any of his girlfriends. He could feel the love surging through him, a love that he had never felt before, a love that was true, intense and all encompassing. He stared down at Jared, wanting nothing more than to stay like this forever, warm and safe, in a cocoon of their own making, where nothing mattered but Jensen and Jared.

Jensen began to move and Jared moved with him. One large hand planted itself firmly on Jensen’s chest, over his heart, whilst the other pressed against his spine, pushing him, stroking him, willing him on to completion.

Jensen came with Jared’s name on his lips and Jared followed him over the edge, cock pulsing against Jensen’s belly, over and over, until both of them were spent and exhausted, lying in each others arms, eyes on each other as if they didn’t want to miss a single moment.

“I love you,” Jensen’s lips formed the words, wishing that Jared could hear how sincere they were, that Jared would understand.

Jared’s mouth curved into a smile of pure joy and he put his hand over Jensen’s heart again then lifted it and placed it over his own, his fingers working slowly and arduously, so that Jensen would understand him that Jensen would know what he was trying to say.

I love you too..

Tears, unbidden, came to Jensen’s eyes and Jared shook his head, wiping them away with gentle fingers, his expression warm, loving and so very tender. He pulled Jensen closer and bit gently on his ear lobe, his lips trailing down Jensen’s neck and nuzzling at his shoulder.

If Jensen had any doubts about Jared wanting the operation, they were swept away by that subtle but obvious gesture.

They were in this together.


	11. Chapter 11

Jared lay on the gurney; his eyes are heavy with the pre-med and there is an IV in his hand that looks painful. A plastic cap has been placed over his long hair and Jensen can see his ears sticking out, making him look very young and very vulnerable.

“Hey.” Jensen bends over Jared’s gurney and places a quick kiss on his forehead. “You okay?”

Jared nods, sleepily, his mouth opening and closing. He looks pale, a little frightened and Jensen takes his hand, carefully avoiding the IV, stroking those long, familiar fingers, feeling silky skin under his.

“You don’t have to do this.” Suddenly Jensen is panicked, afraid, not wanting to see Jared suffer. “You don’t have to do this, just for me.”

Jared stares at him for a long time, then he smiles, slow and easy, eyes bright. He lifts a heavy hand and touches his ears, then he reaches out and touches Jensen’s, nodding slowly, his message coming across loud and clear.

Jensen swallows and kisses Jared again. “I’ll be here when you wake up,” he says and Jared smiles, eyes closing.

The nurse comes to fetch Jensen over an hour later; the surgery was a complete success. Jared’s implants are secure and will be activated in another two weeks. Jensen feels relief flood through him and he wants to hug her but contends himself with a simple, “Can I see him?”

***

Jared recovers quickly and is able to go home the next day. Jensen drives him to the diner where they eat steak and eggs and drink soda to celebrate. Sharon looks as relieved as Jensen feels, unable to keep her hands off her son, fascinated by the two tiny scars behind his ears, touching them gently and wonderingly.

Jensen notices that more and more of Jared’s stuff is turning up in his apartment. Clothes, books, games, all appear. Jared seems to be moving himself in and Jensen can’t even begin to stop him. He wants this, wants it more than anything. His life is changing but for the better and he is so happy, it is almost sickening.

Jared potters around, enjoying being looked after. He eats what Jensen cooks for him and spends hours watching trashy TV and pretending to order Jensen around. They fall into domestic bliss easily and the only thing that makes it even better is the awesome sex.

Now Jared has gotten what he wants, they make love almost constantly and in every room of Jensen’s apartment. His kitchen; over the table, his lounge; on the couch, his bathroom; squashed together in the tub, Jared’s mouth and hand on his cock. Jared has taken to sex like a duck takes to water and Jensen isn’t complaining.

***

The two weeks pass slowly but at the end of the second week, Jensen’s stomach is clenching with nerves and he can barely face food, the very thought of it making him nauseous.

Jared doesn’t appear to be affected but it is hard to tell; he is his usual happy, contented self, almost as if he has forgotten what is going to happen to him, almost as if he is blotting it out, refusing to believe it is going to work, that he might hear for the first time.

The clinic is small and exclusive; the doctors there trained to the highest standards. Jensen and Sharon sit together, listening to Jared’s surgeon talk. Sharon's hand comes up and clutches at Jensen’s and they huddle closer, both of them shaking with nerves and apprehension.

“Most adults, particularly those who have never had the gift of hearing take a while to adjust.” The doctor is young and forthright, but his eyes are kind. “Jared may need counseling and will certainly need speech therapy. He might never adjust and we might have to remove the implants or he might take to them, at once. I’m afraid it is hard to say, it is a lottery really. We never really know. All we can do is our best.”

Jensen nods and gives Sharon’s hand a squeeze, then it is time and they enter the room where Jared is waiting patiently, sitting on a gurney, eyes fixed on the door, looking for them, face lighting up when he sees Jensen, the only indication of his feelings are his shaking hands.

“Okay, Jared.” The doctor smiles. “I am going to activate the implants now, you might feel a little strange at first.” He clips something behind Jared’s ears and then stands back, concentration on his face. Jensen can hear his own heart beating; hear Sharon’s hitched breathing beside him.

“We do this in a quiet room because the sudden noise is often disturbing.” The doctor turns to his equipment and fiddles with a knob. “It is best to speak quietly, the shock can be unbearable. We need to take this slowly.”

Jensen watches his lover’s face, sees Jared frown a little and scratch at his ear. He bites his lip hard, tasting blood and he feels Sharon squeeze his hand, hard, crushing his fingers, making him wince a little.

For a moment there is silence, as if no one dares to speak, to move, to even breath, then Jensen can’t hold back any longer, he moves a little closer and says, soft and low, “Jared?”

There is no need for words; Jared’s head turns slowly, his eyes on Jensen’s face, wide and wondering. He lifts a hand to his ear and frowns, then he turns back to Jensen again.

“Jared?” Jensen says once more and he sees Jared’s eyes grow bright, tears spilling, unchecked down his cheeks. Jared gets up and moves towards Jensen, his hand coming to rest on Jensen’s mouth, fingers playing across Jensen’s lips. “Jared. God, you can – I mean can you . . . ?” Jensen is aware of babbling, aware that his own throat is closing up, his own eyes filling with stinging tears. Beside him, Sharon is crying softly, unable to hold back. Jared turns to her and wipes away a tear and she stares at him.

“Baby boy,” her voice wavered. “Oh, my baby boy.”

Jared’s smile was wide, bright, and familiar, tears still flowing down his face. He hugged his mom for a moment and then turned back to Jensen, staring at him, mouth wide with amazement.

“I love you,” Jensen said. “I love you so much.”

Jared’s eyes grew, impossibly wider; he put his fingers to his ears again and nodded mouth moving, his whole body shuddering.

There were no words yet but Jensen didn’t need them. He felt strong arms go round him and then he had an armful of Jared, sobbing, laughing, shaking with pure joy.

All he could do was to hold on, clutch tighter and repeat the words that Jared could now hear, never wanting to stop, wanting Jared to hear them over and over.

“I love you. I love you. I love you.”


	12. Chapter 12

***

Six Weeks Later

Jared heaved the last of his suitcases up the stairs and deposited it on Jensen’s carpet. He was grinning, wide and happy, his eyes never leaving Jensen’s face. He looked like the cat that had the cream and Jensen couldn’t help but smile back, feeling that, somehow, he had been steamrollered in the most delightful way.

Jared was moving in and Jensen, despite his original misgivings, couldn’t be happier. He had his concerns of course, but Jared seemed happy to stamp all over them with, barely concealed, enthusiasm. He reassured Jensen, hands and fingers flying, that he would be fine on his own whilst Jensen was working, that he was old enough to look after himself and that he wasn’t a baby that needed constant care, but a grown man.

***

They saw the specialist on a weekly basis and everything seemed to be going well. The doctor explained that Jared probably wasn’t hearing actual, pure sound as yet and that was only responding to vibrations. He also booked them in to see a speech therapist, explaining that Jared wasn’t mute, but hadn’t used his voice because he didn’t know how to. He explained that, with the sign language and the implants, Jared should be able to start to make sounds and, eventually, be able to speak, even if his speech would always be limited.

It was a lot to take in but Jensen was sure that they would do it together; sure, that everything would be fine, that he and Jared could and would conquer anything together.

***

Jared spent an hour a day in speech therapy and Jensen could see that it frustrated him. No one was really sure how much Jared could really hear and Jensen wondered if they were expecting too much of him, pushing him too far too soon. Jared wasn’t making any sounds yet, despite his time in therapy but he always came home looking pale and tired and Jensen just wanted to hug him, carry him off to bed and protect him from the world.

***

The media had finally found out that Jared was the missing Singer baby and that had meant a lot of unwarranted and unwanted attention for both of them. Sharon had given a short statement to the press and Mrs Singer had done a brief interview on local television. That didn’t stop the reporters from camping out on Jensen’s doorstep and he was only too glad to use his influence with the force to get rid of them.

Jared seemed to take it all in his stride, but, again, it was hard to tell. He could use sign language now and he could tell Jensen lots of things, but it was hard to see right inside of Jared, know what he was really thinking or feeling. He was resolutely cheerful, innocent and happy, only too glad to cuddle up to Jensen at the end of the day, seemingly wanting nothing more.

***

Jensen was on his knees, mouth around Jared’s cock, licking and sucking at the head, listening to Jared’s hitched breathing, feeling the tremors that shook their way through Jared’s body. He moved his fingers to caress Jared’s balls, feeling their silky smoothness beneath his hands, touching them, stroking them. When he first heard the sound, he thought, for a moment, it was him that had made it.

A soft, broken grunt of obvious pleasure.

Jensen paused for a moment, forgetting his ministrations. He hadn’t realized that he had stopped until Jared’s hands came round and cupped his head, his hips thrusting gently, cock sliding over Jensen’s lips. He heard the grunt again, but this time it sounded more like frustration than pleasure and he swallowed hard as he suddenly realized what he had heard and what it meant.

He looked up to see Jared looking down at him, eyes blown wide with pleasure. His mouth opened and there, there was that grunt again, harsh, guttural but there.

It was hard to give a blow-job with a lump in his throat; tears stung his lashes and he gulped around Jared’s cock, trying hard to get back to the job in hand. Jared grunted again and came, hard, into Jensen’s eager mouth. He fell to his knees and pulled Jensen into his arms, kissing Jensen and licking into his mouth, his kisses desperate and eager.

Jensen pulled away so that he could look at his lover. Jared’s cheeks were flushed and his eyes were very bright. Jensen smiled and put his fingers on Jared’s lips, shaking his head and trying hard to keep from crying again.

Jared gazed at him, wondering. He looked a little stunned and Jensen was certain that Jared hadn’t been able to hear himself make those noises, but that he might be aware that he had.

“You – you – I heard you, dude.” Jensen made sure that Jared could see him, see his lips move. “You – oh God, Jared – I heard you.”

Jared smiled then, wide and bright, all dimples and innocence. He put his fingers to his own lips and opened his mouth again. The grunt that came out could hardly be called anything else, but to Jensen it was the sweetest sound he had ever heard.

***

The next few months seemed to fly by. Jensen was back at work and, most days, he was exhausted. He came home to a cooked meal, a smiling boyfriend and a spotless apartment. Even marriage hadn’t been this good and Jensen couldn’t stop wondering how he ever got so lucky.

A date for the trial had been set, six months down the line. Jensen was glad that it wasn’t going to happen too fast. The scum were off the streets and no one was in any danger. He didn’t want to spoil Jared’s progress by forcing him to testify and he was sure, by the time they got to court, Jared would be able to communicate pretty well.

***

In July, it was Jared’s twenty-seventh birthday and his family held a huge party in the diner to celebrate. It had been nearly ten months since the implants and Jared’s hearing seemed to be improving daily. He reacted more to sound now, nearly leaping off the sofa when Jensen dropped a plate in the kitchen, cringing when they watched ‘The Terminator’ together and Arnold rampaged through the disco shooting everyone. He was making sounds now, soft grunts and moans, mostly during sex. Sharon often asked Jensen what made Jared ‘talk’ and Jensen was finding it increasingly hard to tell her.

The diner was crowded with people; Jared’s doctor, Lydia, his speech therapist, Mrs Singer and cops from Jensen’s precinct. Sharon had baked a huge cake, covered in frosting and alight with candles. She carried it in to the sound of, ‘Happy Birthday to you’ and Jared winced, grabbing at his ears, a sign that he was hearing the tuneless singing.

Jared blew out the candles and everyone cheered. Sharon took the cake in the kitchen to cut it up and Jared pulled Jensen’s hand, leading him out of the diner and into the staff room, where it was quiet, the rowdy crowd far behind them.

“Hey.” Jensen grinned as Jared hugged him. “Happy birthday, dude. We should go back inside, you know there’s presents to be opened?”

Jared stared at Jensen for a moment, his head on one side. He seemed to be thinking about something and Jensen frowned, concern and worry prickling at his chest.

“Hey, Jared, are you okay?”

Jared nodded, he sat on one of the soft, worn sofa’s and pulled Jensen onto his lap, pressing a kiss on Jensen’s neck and leaning in closer, his mouth against Jensen’s throat.

“Jensun,” the word was so soft, so faint, that Jensen thought he might be dreaming, that he might have imagined it, but for the gentle vibration against his throat. He pulled back and stared at Jared in astonishment, his whole body shaking.

“Did you just . . . ?”

Jared grinned and he put his hand over Jensen’s heart in that old familiar way, grabbing Jensen’s fingers to press against his own.

“Jen-sun.” This time, Jensen watched Jared’s mouth move, heard the word for what it was. Jared’s voice was low, scratchy, free of any accent or tone but it was there, it was there and Jensen couldn’t stop himself this time. He burst into tears.

“Love you.” Rough fingers came up to his face and wiped away the tears. “Love you – thank you – Jen-sun.”

“You didn’t tell me. You – you’ve been hiding this.” Jensen gulped, clinging to Jared’s shoulders. “How long?”

Jared smiled through his own wet, bright eyes. He shrugged his fingers moving.

I’ve been practicing. Wanted to surprise you..

“You certainly did.” Jensen moved then, kissing Jared hard on the mouth, knowing that everything was going to be alright, that every thing was going to be fine. “I love you too, Jared and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Is that okay?”

Jared nodded, smiling so wide that Jensen was sure that the sun came out on cue.

“That okay, Jen-sun. Love you.”

And, amazingly, Jared had the last word.

The End


End file.
